Couples often come to therapy when it feels like they've hit a wall- there's a lot of conflict and fighting, or there's uncomfortable distance and a lack of intimacy. Fears of abandonment and commitment can be found at the root of many arguments, even those that are seemingly insignificant.
I help partners identify their own needs, and slow down in the moments they start to feel defensive. Communicating from an honest and vulnerable place creates depth and closeness; it is incredibly healing and satisfying when your partner finally understands you on a deep level. This understanding builds a foundation for a healthy, passionate, and supportive relationship.
My style is direct and at times confrontational, in a way that many people find refreshing. I use my position as a witness of your relationship to help each person take radical personal responsibility for their needs, desires, and impact. Often, couples come to therapy when the power dynamic is skewed. In these cases, I work to help empower the individual who feels disempowered before we work through other dynamics.
Many people grew up with dysfunctional relationship models. It can be helpful in this case for the therapy work to include some formal education about how to resolve conflict, self- regulate, and co-regulate. I help couples build a deeper understanding of each other by teaching reflective listening techniques and non- violent communication. Couples learn about the "stages of activation" (e.g. when you each get triggered and upset and can no longer have a productive conversation) and about how to talk about their own feeling experiences without fear of judgement or repercussion. Often, I will meet with the individual for a "break out session" to build a deeper connection with each member of the couple. Together, we design a treatment plan that fits the needs and desires of the relationship, as well as the individual.
I work with couples in weekly or biweekly 50- or 75 minute sessions, and in one-off weekend intensives.
Weekend intensives include a two- hour evening session on Friday and a four- hour session on Saturday. You and your partner will receive suggested reading material in addition to quizzes and exercises. To inquire about scheduling a weekend intensive, please send me an email.